Notes
Tuesday, 16 June 2026
I try to be mindful about my running obsession when I’m around new people. But in like 30 seconds after we started talking, we bonded over running. She said she just picked it up as a hobby, but I could see the excitement in her eyes. I could tell her how much she was into it and how she loved connecting over it. I honestly wanted to have at least one run together with her. I envisioned it as something life changing, a run that I’d never experienced before, and perhaps I never will…
Then we bonded over dancing. Of course the roles changed. I was in awe with her, how she moved her body, so elegantly and sexy. I was so shy and embarrassed. She said that my dance is “charming” and that she didn’t want to use the world “cute” not to belittle it.
Say you’re new to dancing, I would’ve never known
The way your body’s moving, you’re looking right at home
She really was ecstasy for me. Not just the highs, but lows. “Coming down” always fucking crashed me. I couldn’t control my feelings.
Destiny is telling you to go
When you’re next to me, it’s ecstasy, let’s roll
If you’re really going, then just go
Every time she opened up and we got close to each other, the next thing I knew was that she withdrew herself and closed in her shell. Hard and cold, distant and dry. Ice queen. Acting like nothing happened, like we’ve never shared a moment. I assume she got frightened of letting the feelings in. She didn’t allow any space for them, shut it off immediately. Nip it in the bud.
Why is the solution always running away?
Are you going girl, or are you coming?