Words are heavy

Putting my emotions on display by actions has always been easier for me than vocalising them. I believe we are what we do, and our actions portray us more accurately than our words could ever do. Yet, for some reason, saying things out loud has a certain weight to them.

In my mind, my actions have a weird duality. They seem local in time and space, hence they feel ephemeral and light. But when I look at them accumulated over time, they are the rock solid foundation of who I am.

Words, on the other hand, are not constrained by the present moment and space, hence they feel eternal and heavy. Especially heavy when dealing with my emotions or the perception of myself.

A part of the heaviness comes from my mental image of how saying things out loud makes something feel more “official”, like my actions weren’t telling enough. It’s like updating the concept of myself. Sometimes that means admitting traits that I didn’t want to admit. And other times it means accepting that putting it out makes me vulnerable.

Another part of the heaviness comes from the fear of the eternal nature of words. They cannot be unsaid. And I often mistake this with a false sense of “no turning back”. But this mentality would treat changing as weakness, when it may actually be growth.

Nowadays I’m trying to overcome these fears by actually speaking my mind. And the more I do, the more I realise that words are not heavy. It’s the unspoken ones that weigh me down.

Interestingly enough, I haven’t even finished this post, yet writing down my thoughts helped me see the dynamics between actions and words slightly differently.

While I still think my actions show who I am, they’re bounded by the present. Words have the power to draw an image of the future that can serve as a North Star which can shape our actions to get us closer to who we’d like to become.

Perhaps they go hand in hand.

Saturday, 7 February 2026