Compromise for the better

It's funny how the word compromise has a negative connotation to it. Or at least I always associated it with something suboptimal. Probably that's the reason why I was never really good at it. In hindsight, I feel like I lost out on a lot of possibilities because of this.

Now, I do believe that compromising doesn't result in a worse outcome. On the contrary, I think if it's done right it actually brings more value to the table. Because more often than not when I'm unable to compromise, the situation that I'm dealing with becomes so daunting that sooner or later I just abandon it. So ultimately the things I could not let go of remain illusions that never turn into reality. Yet they still hold me back from something real and meaningful.

I used to be worried that a compromise would degrade the quality, but solving anything, regardless of the quality, usually leads to a better result than quitting. I genuinely believe now that even quality doesn't have to suffer. In fact, it will most probably improve. Letting go of some of the ideas in exchange for others might result in a solution that I couldn't even imagine on my own. Just let each other’s imagination inspire our ideas instead of ruining them.

My previous mentality resulted in countless hobby projects that never saw the light of day. Each time I abandon a project I feel like a failure consoling myself that it never meant to be shipped anyway. That I only needed them to learn something new, and that's their real value. Well, even though it's somewhat true, there are skills to be gained from actually pushing through all the way to the finish line. It's a different kind of learning that's equally if not more important.

I now see compromising as a tool that helps you plan for the long term, to be able to endure. And this tool can be applied to all aspects of life. For example, I could have compromised on my target race times, being smarter and more patient to avoid injuries. While it's true that in the short term the goals wouldn't be that astonishing, but at least I could have built upon that. Progressing with less stress, more joy and by now I'd be way over my initial targets. Whereas I'm currently in worse shape than a compromised target would have meant back then. So the lack of my ability to compromise lost me 3 years of fitness instead of gaining it.

The same applies to the past relationship with my ex. Instead of being able to compromise and fulfil our dreams to live together I broke her heart which in turn broke mine and crushed me in the end. Looking back on those compromises I didn't want to take, they don't even seem to reach the threshold. Everything that could have been real is now vanished for things that were only painting an illusion.

I shipped this blog to break my pattern and teach myself to compromise. I cut down the scope to the single most essential thing, to be able to reveal the layers to my soul. I realised that everything else is secondary and can be added later. Like images, tags, filters, a comment section, integrating Spotify or Apple Music for posts to interpret song lyrics, and the list goes on. But starting small allowed me to have a first version that I can build upon.

Now I don't have an excuse to procrastinate writing anymore. That was the whole point, allowing me to explore myself by structuring my thoughts while fighting my fear of accepting who I am in front of others. Weakening my weaknesses is a really good way to change for the better. Starting this journey and accomplishing all these little wins makes me really proud. Maybe for the first time in my life.

Wednesday, 2 April 2025